WOMAN MEETS PICKLEFIH DURING NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE

"I was driving my car, then something suddenly hit me, and the next thing I know I am in this dark tunnel, and at the end of the tunnel I see a green light. I am moving towards the green light, and as I get closer, I realize that's it's just a bunch of pickles. Like I have never seen so many pickles in one place. There are pickles of all sizes, large, small, fat, skinny, I even spotted a Mitch McConnell shaped pickle, can you believe it? As I am admiring all these pickles, I get a sense that someone is watching me. But like, not in an ominous way, I feel their eyes on me, and it makes me feel loved and happy at the same time. As I turn around I come face to face with something I can only describe as a Picklefih. It is neither Fih, neither Pickle. It is neither and both at the same time. Then suddenly the Picklefih opens it's mouth as if it's about to say something important and that very instant, I feel a shock and I see an EMT above me administering the AED as I come back to sense." - stated area woman in an exclusive FUX NEWS interview. (FUX NEWS is a satirical news publication by mr_m0nch, read more FUX NEWS at mrmonch.com)