mrm0nch

Rudy Giuliani is reportedly in a critically acclaimed air-conditioned stable. It is not clear why he is there or what he is doing, but according to our sources he is rolling around in the hay and making horse sounds. Initial reports indicate the other horses in the stable are not being too receptive or hospitable to this intrusion and are attempting to hoof Giuliani in the forehead, so far without much luck as he is very nimble at dodging their blows and the stste of the art air conditioning...

“It’s an honest mistake, so I really can’t blame the public for not being able to tell that this was a photo of a naked mole-rat and not actually Stephen Miller, but I do accept some responsibility as a photo-journalist and admit that I should have provided more context and clarification on the subject of the photo” stated the photographer of the now viral picture which was widely believed to be a candid shot of Stephen Miller emerging from his dank and smelly basement lair.

A newly signed executive order by President Donald J Trump is seeking to adjust how percentages are calculated as well as how they are taught in schools. “Noone knows more about percentages and math than me. When I say discount a price by 1500%, I mean the price will be discounted very bigly, by how much is not important, that’s only important for nerds and sick people, and everyone knows nerds and sick people are LOSERS and their opinions don’t matter as bigly. My record breaking executive...