SOURCE CLOSE TO WHITE HOUSE REVEALS JD VANCE IS MADE OUT OF CAKE

"I accidentally licked JD Vance in passing and he was sweet and tasted like chocolate cake." stated a source close to the White House in a FUX NEWS interview. "I mean I'm a big fan of chocolate cake, I know the exact texture and flavor of fine chocolate cake. I would not confuse cake with brownies, snickers, or any other chocolate products, so I can say with absolute certainty that JD Vance is made out of cake. I can't tell you how or why he is, and we can argue in details about how this might be impossible, but I know exactly what I tasted and it was chocolate cake".

Calls for the Vice President to prove beyond any reasonable doubt that he IS NOT cake have escalated in recent days, with many expressing national security concerns that a prominent government official is made out of a delicious dessert which can be easily consumed or may spoil if not left refrigerated. Many were quick to dismiss the rumors stating that perhaps the licker tasted some left-over cake on JD Vance, and that is not a full chocolate cake baked-goods person.

This is a developing story, make sure to follow FUX NEWS by mr m0nch for further details.

FUX NEWS by mr m0nch.