"NEW WHITE HOUSE BALLROOM APPEALS TO A YOUNGER AUDIENCE"

In the latest attempt to appeal to a younger demographic, President Demetrius Jericho Tootsieroll has unveiled a bold new look for the White House Ball Room, shouting "yeet!" as he pulled off the giant white starched sheets covering the construction, revealing a multi-story solid gold 67. "I have no idea what it means, personally I would have preferred a 69, if you know what I mean, but the polls show this is the hot new number of the season" the president told the reporters over a mouthful of Royalle with Cheese.

-FUX NEWS