BREAKING: GOVERNMENT PLANS NATIONAL FART TAX TO PAY DOWN NATIONAL DEBT, FLOCK TO INSTALL FART TRACKING DEVICES

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The federal government has reportedly unveiled an ambitious new plan to reduce the national debt by taxing one of America’s most abundant and underutilized resources: farts.

Under the proposed National Flatulence Revenue Program, Americans would be charged a small fee every time they break wind.

Officials say the program could generate billions of dollars annually.

“America has trillions in debt,” said fictional Treasury official Gary Bottoms. “But it turns out we also have trillions of farts. We simply weren't monetizing them.”

To enforce the new tax, the government has reportedly partnered with FLOCK, which will install advanced fart-detection devices in homes, offices, vehicles and public spaces across the country.

The devices will allegedly identify the approximate location, duration and severity of each incident.

Sources say citizens could receive a larger tax bill for particularly powerful events.

One official described the system as “basically a toll booth for your ass.”

The government is also reportedly considering a Fart Tax Credit for Americans who voluntarily reduce their annual output.

Meanwhile, FLOCK representatives have allegedly encouraged citizens to remain calm.

“We're not here to judge your farts,” said a fictional spokesperson. “We're here to document them, categorize them and make sure the government gets its cut.”

At press time, lawmakers were reportedly debating whether silent farts should be taxed at a higher rate because they are “harder to detect and therefore more suspicious.”

FUX NEWS will continue monitoring this developing story.