M.C.P.D - witness 5 interview - transcript

Officer Lopez - ma'am could you please start from the beginning and tell me exactly what happened?

Witness 5 - I already told everything to the FBI goon or whoever that guy in black was just minutes ago, can't you just get this from him?

Officer Lopez - There was no one else here, we were first on scene...

Witness 5 - are you calling me crazy?

Officer Lopez - no that's not what I mean, I just know you've been through a lot tonight...

Witness 5 - Listen here guy, don't patronize me, I know what I saw, and I'm NOT crazy.

Officer Lopez - can we get back on the subject, please... we really need to get to the bottom of what happened tonight. There is a whole city that will be waking up tomorrow to find the local supermaket shelves empty of any milk products....

Witness 5 - and is that my problem? Do you think I had something to do with THIS??

Officer Lopez - no, that's not what I mean, I just wanted to make sure you understood the gravity of the situation.

Witness 5 - Listen. An entire milk distribution and bottling facility has just been drained of ALL milk in a matter of seconds. NOT A DROP IS LEFT. How do I even begin to explain this to our insurance company? What, some interdimensional cat goblin just swooped in and consumed it in one go? Do you even understand how CRAZY this sounds?

Officer Lopez - hold on, slow down... Interdimensional cat goblin? Where did you get his idea?

Witness 5 - The goon in black? Remember? The one you are saying I made up because I "have been through a lot tonight". He also collected a bag of radioactive cat hair or something, I don't know. All of this is insane. Listen I have to go, the GM is calling, they're gonna have my hide for this...

Officer Lopez - thank you for your time, here's my card if you need to call me.

Witness 5 - yea yea yea thanks bye.